Some good jeux de mot here ... who was it said that levity is the soul of wit?
On saddles and waterproofing: My local shop didn't have proofide in stock when I bought my B17 a year ago, so I used a product I had bought from a supplier in your neighbourhood, Dan (Idaho): Obenauf's leathercare. (Their HD paste and leather oil both have a high percentage of beeswax.) There are different products of differing viscosities, and for my B17, I used the "Leather Oil" variant, about a 30-weight grade. It's worked very well. I use it on my leather jackets, etc., and the HD paste on my hiking boots. No hesitation in recommending Obenauf's products. (HD = heavy-duty, not Harley-Davidson, just to put your minds at ease.)
I guess I could have used Marmite, thinned out with varsol or something similar, but...
Cheers,
John