Dear in4,
As a simile, looking like a "bucket of smashed crabs" is elbowing bags of spanners, anglers' bait boxes & bulldogs grimacing at having to lick thistles from the poetic high ground.
It will be gently dropped in during tomorrow's break time professional discourse in the staff room.
I am led to believe, by no greater authority than that there Bazza White, the walrus of lurve himself no less, that in matters amorous one should aim for languor not speed.
As a science teacher I can't help but view this through an evolutionary lens. Will this environmental shift (attractive cyclists being faster) drive an evolutionary arms race forcing an increase in pursuant women's cycling speed? Is Brailsford running a selective breeding programme based on this principle in preparation for 2020? Is leg hair an evolutionary dead end?
It has to be noted, however, that the energy expended in chasing each other round on bikes would be far better spent on, well, you know... if you need it spelling out it's not cycling speed you need to worry about.
Upon sharing this with my wife and suggesting that it was deeply detrimental to my delicate sense of self worth as a man that she wouldn't allow me to disappear on extended training runs, she upbraided me for my shameless manipulation of data and asserted that, modern epi-genetics not withstanding, she will not stand for Lamarkianism in this house, thank you very much.
Yours, James
