The Ian sketch.

[triaesthete]

Fourth Ian: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Thornamaloo.

EveryIan: G'day!

Michael: Hello.

Fourth Ian: Michael Baldwin, Ian. Michael Baldwin, Ian. Michael Baldwin, Ian.

First Ian: Is your name not Ian?

Michael: No, it's Michael.

Second Ian: That's going to cause a little confusion.

Third Ian: Mind if we call you "Ian" to keep it clear?

Clear??
Ian

No plagiarism here    My source http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/bruces.htm

[triaesthete]

Too many Ians here? What we need is:

The sketch:

      Voiceover: This man is no ordinary man. This is Mr. Danneaux. To all appearances, he looks like any other law-abiding citizen. But Mr Danneaux has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!

      Superboy: Hey, there's a bicycle broken, up the road.

      Superman One: If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!

      Superboy: Yes, wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!

      Caption: FLASH!

      All Supermen: Bicycle Repair Man, but how?

      Superman One: Oh look... is it a stockbroker?

      Superman Two: Is it a quantity Surveyor?

      Superman Three: Is it a church warden?

      All Supermen: NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!

      Superman: MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've come! Look!

      Caption: Clink! Screw! Bend! Inflate! Alter Saddle!

      Superman Two: Why, he's mending it with his own hands!

      Superman One: See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!

      Superman: Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?

      Bicycle Repair Man: Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!

      All Supermen: Our Hero!

      Voiceover: Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!

http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/bicycle.htm

[Danneaux]

I...don't think we have (m)any Bruces, but plenty of Ians! Glad to have 'em, too!

By numbers among posters, I believe we have the most Ians, followed by several Richards and Petes/Peters, one Dan (b'sides me, so he's chosen "Danny" to avoid confusion, bless him), and then it tapers sharply from there. Some Andys/Andrews. Not too many Mikes, only one Andre, and an Anto, plus a Jawine, a Jane, and a Jen. We probably have far more variety in names and numbers of duplicates among the Silent Majority and guests. Screen names and avatars/profile pics help to tell the players apart.

By far, the bulk of our 1868 members never post and a relative small number post a lot, typical of most Forums. At present, 35 people have posted between 50 and 99 times (junior members), 27 people have posted between 100 and 249 times (full members), and 12 between 250 and 999 (senior members).

All the best,

Dan. (...with an eye for numbers)

[Matt2matt2002]

You missed out Superhero members, Dan.
Too Modest?
How many posts for Superman? Err, Superhero?
Matt, who aspires, on long hills.

[jags]

mental Ian your getting as bad as Andre words or will

[Danneaux]

Hi Matt!

The Hero membergroup is conferred by the software counter at 1,000-1,999 posts, and jags is the only one there at present. Closing on the mark is Stuart (Stutho), followed by Andre, JimK, julk, and Il Padrone rounding out the top five contenders.

We currently have two people in the 800s, one each in the 600s and 500s, six in the 400s, one in the 300s, six in the 200s, and 22 in the 100s. Below that all have posts numbering in the double- and single-digits or none at all. Guests don't have post-counts 'cos they cannot post, and they also don't get to see post attachments.

The SuperHero member status is conferred at 2,000-4,999 posts by the SMF Forum software membergroup counter, and I'm the only one there at present (jags is closing and will be there also before long). Thanks to the Forum I have worn some of the letters off my primary laptop's keyboard.  

The only remaining category is Ultra SuperHero, conferred at 5,000 posts; no one has made that membergroup status to date. It is the only membergroup with 7 stars -- ooh! ahh!

For some fun Forum statistics, see: http://www.thorncycles.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=stats

All the best,

Dan. (...who thinks keeping past posts straight is a bigger challenge than making them)

[Danneaux]

...Mr Danneaux has a secret identity...

Nooooo! Ian, Ian...it's not a "secret" identity if everyone knows! 

Remember the morning meeting when we...ah, nevermind.

All the best,

Dan. (...whose secret identify has been blown and his day made grandly fun all at once!  )

[triaesthete]

Eeeh! Dan I'm scared now. At what point does one become "Big Brother Member" ?

Big Bro Danneaux is a virtual character in George Robin Thorn Orwell's novel Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Four Bicycles. He is the enigmatic dictator of Thornia, a totalitarian state taken to its utmost logical consequence – where the ruling Party wields total power for its own sake over bike nerds.

In the society that Thorn Orwell describes, everyone is under complete surveillance by the authorities, mainly by Danneaux. The people are just now  reminded in this post of the phrase "Big Brother is watching you", which is the core "truth" of the propaganda system in this state.

Since the publication of Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Four Bicycles, the term "Big Brother" has entered the lexicon as a synonym for the love of bicycles, particularly in respect to statistics, often specifically related to mass surveillance.

Eek
Ian (not telling which one!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Brother_%28Nineteen_Eighty-Four%29

[Danneaux]

eeh! Dan I'm scared now...

Nah, you're safe, Ian; PMs are privileged communication, unviewable by Admins/Big Brother.

<Psst! If plotting an overthrow, that's the place to do it>

All the best,

Dan. (...but you didn't hear it from him)

[macspud]

Fourth Ian: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Thornamaloo.

EveryIan: G'day!

Michael: Hello.

Fourth Ian: Michael Baldwin, Ian. Michael Baldwin, Ian. Michael Baldwin, Ian.

First Ian: Is your name not Ian?

Michael: No, it's Michael.

Second Ian: That's going to cause a little confusion.

Third Ian: Mind if we call you "Ian" to keep it clear?

Clear??
Ian

No plagiarism here    My source http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/bruces.htm

Lol,
I as another Iain remember once being in a bar with 16 people in it, there were:

12 Iain/Ian
1 Ewan
1 Euen
1 Jan
1 John
 
With John as the odd one out, but as John is actually another name for Iain we let him off.
Needless to say it was always your round Iain and a grand night was had.

[triaesthete]

Hi Iain
did our parents have no imagination or have I become exceptionally fashionable or aligned with some secretive Scottish brotherhood by chance?

It gets worse though. About 25% of my work colleagues are Ians and my middle name is John......

When I were a lad down south everyone seemed to be called Mark, David or Gary.

Perhaps during the war it was said: "For you Ian ze var is over".

Anyway it's your round
Cheers
Ian