I have XTR's on a Nomad, with XTR cartridge holders, Swissstop pads and Rigida Andra rims. I have 6.5cm wire between the noodle and fixing point. My calipers are 11cm apart (measuring caliper centre to centre at the top). My bike was set up by Thorn and the braking is excellent.
If the pad / washer arrangement you're using is thicker than the Shimano cartridge pads, that probably accounts for the difference. In fact, both our rims are 19mm and the frame and forks are very similar, so that should be the only difference.
My calipers aren't ||, they make a very shallow \/ shape. This shape is a product of the rim width, fork width at the V-brake bosses and the pads used. It could vary a little between bikes.
Shaun