May your hubs not fail in some backwoods, ****ehole of a country-
May your panniers stay dry on the inside when biking through a combination of mud and fresh sewage-
And your paint not be chipped too badly by airport handlers with low IQ's-
May you find that one extra wind/waterproof matchstick at 2am on a dirt road all by yourself and your walkman is playing Bob Marley and the guy 4 miles back gave you his last bit of Thai stick-
May all winds be directed at your arse and not away from it even when this mornings breakfast was 2 cans of black beans-
May your legs gain just a bit more momentum just as the dogs jaw nears your ankle-
May your Dazer always daze and if not may your Shimano shoe strike, solidly, the skull of the offending beast-
May all your flats go flat within 10 yards of a bike shop or at least near a good cafe with a large selection of wine-
May all your spouses understand the need, yet again, for new bikes, components, etc and if they do not may you have the insight and strength to reach out to the nearest chocolate shop for proper assistance-
May your garments say "GoreTex" when the rains from above unleash themselves on you and your tube of anti-fungal be abundant and at the ready afterwards-
May your toiletpaper be full, ample in quantity and 2-ply when Nature calls you from the warm cocoon that is your sleeping bag-
May the bribes be small that you pay to border officials-
May the sores on your arse heal quickly and without untold pain and suffering-
May gravity be our friend over 50 percent of the time-
And lastly-
May our employers require that we all earn 3 times our normal salaries per week and insist that we work ONLY 6 months per year while touring the remainder.
Happy New Year. [^]
