Hi Stutho,
I have tried both models of the Ergon grips, with and without the integrated bar ends.
My hands are quite large and I found the integrated bar ends felt a bit constraining sideways when not in use and too small to be useful when I tried hanging on to them.
The bar ends can be set at various angles independent of the main flat grip extension.
I find the grips with just the flat extension excellent for everyday riding. I can move my hands about more without the bar ends. The flare at the end stops your hands slipping off the ends.
They are not designed for a tight grip, I sometimes just rest my hands on top and enjoy the support they offer. The grip with flat extension can be rotated up or down from the horizontal, although I find setting them horizontal is best for me.
Assuming the new bike for your wife has a rohloff hub then you may need to cut the right grip down in length, SJS reckon that the womens version is too thin when cut down where it butts up against the rohloff changer and recommend using the mens version.
You can buy a rohloff model grip (I did) and found the right grip too short, I had to put an extra collar of old grip in place by the rohloff changer.
I hope your wife is delighted with her new bike.