I'll put this here as it certainly comes under the Muppet category.
Did this to me Mercury a couple of weeks ago, by riding into the back of a car (No, I'm not elaborating), frame and forks written off. Shortened my face by the corresponding amount, though that isn't a write off and is healing well, twisted a knee which is still keeping me off the bike (Well not this one obviously). New frameset on order - I've gone for as close to the same thing as possible, which is either an indication that I lack imagination or how well this bike suits me. Insurance claim was simple, I'll post details on the appropriate board.