Thorn Cycles Forum
Community => Non-Thorn Related => Topic started by: in4 on February 05, 2014, 04:13:10 PM
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If one resembles a bucket of smashed crabs does cycling faster offer any remedy? !
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-26034659
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Why take chances? :D
Best,
Dan. (...who is off to do intervals in a moment, hoping for that extra bit of speed and attractiveness)
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If one resembles a bucket of smashed crabs does cycling faster offer any remedy? !
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-26034659
I have good news for you. What matters much more than looks is how you smell. Women are always trying to touch me because I smell like an athlete. Apparently women are conditioned by evolution to prefer the smell of worn jockstraps. (Im not even joking. If only I were... I'd much prefer to be wanted for my superior brainpower and sparkling wit.) The secret is pheromones. Ask at the chemist. Perhaps they have an extract of pheromones that you can dab behind your ears.
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I'm a slow rider.....and this explains everything.
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The secret is pheromones. Ask at the chemist. Perhaps they have an extract of pheromones that you can dab behind your ears.
When I used to keep pigs we used a spray called 'Boarmate' to see if sows were 'ready' for the boar. If I'd been using it I couldn't smell it but my wife would always react :-)
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When I used to keep pigs we used a spray called 'Boarmate' to see if sows were 'ready' for the boar. If I'd been using it I couldn't smell it but my wife would always react :-)
Got any spare?
Nudge nudge wink wink
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Got any spare?
Nudge nudge wink wink
I'm sure your local Vet could provide you with some ....apparently it smells like sweaty athlete to women so should be just the job :)
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;D ;D ;D fantasy land ;D
you guys are nuts.
jags.
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Dear in4,
As a simile, looking like a "bucket of smashed crabs" is elbowing bags of spanners, anglers' bait boxes & bulldogs grimacing at having to lick thistles from the poetic high ground.
It will be gently dropped in during tomorrow's break time professional discourse in the staff room.
I am led to believe, by no greater authority than that there Bazza White, the walrus of lurve himself no less, that in matters amorous one should aim for languor not speed.
As a science teacher I can't help but view this through an evolutionary lens. Will this environmental shift (attractive cyclists being faster) drive an evolutionary arms race forcing an increase in pursuant women's cycling speed? Is Brailsford running a selective breeding programme based on this principle in preparation for 2020? Is leg hair an evolutionary dead end?
It has to be noted, however, that the energy expended in chasing each other round on bikes would be far better spent on, well, you know... if you need it spelling out it's not cycling speed you need to worry about.
Upon sharing this with my wife and suggesting that it was deeply detrimental to my delicate sense of self worth as a man that she wouldn't allow me to disappear on extended training runs, she upbraided me for my shameless manipulation of data and asserted that, modern epi-genetics not withstanding, she will not stand for Lamarkianism in this house, thank you very much.
Yours, James
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Ah, James, we've missed you greatly. Nice to see you posting again.
All the best,
Dan.
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I am post porridge and as yet cannot see myself getting even close to a reciprocal retort that matches Jimmer's response. Mrs Jimmer is clearly a fine lady and an inspirational muse. :) I paraphrase: 'I am only to be found in the expression on the face of another' Pedaling like the clappers into headwind convinces me my crustacian-esque countenance is best left unobserved during such and similar exertions :D
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Sadly some of us were at back of both the looks and fitness queue. Being ugly has absolutely no advantages. I took the other half to the cinema to see a film this afternoon, and I asked if they gave discounts to ugly people. The young lad serving the tickets didn't know what to say, so I presume that they don't. I just pointed out that I obviously wasn't asking for me!