How you know you are a modern roadie

[JWestland]

http://www.bikeradar.com/road/gear/article/20-problems-only-modern-roadies-have-43414/

I've got 99 problems, but none of these 20...

[Danneaux]

Fortunately, those problems have passed me by as well, Jawine.

 

All the best,

Dan.

[geocycle]

Brilliant!  No, I can safely say I've not had any of those!

[jags]

me neither ah i'm an old roadie dont understand all that tech stuff.

[onrbikes]

very funny.
I too have enough issues just with my VDO speedo, let alone a Garmin.
 
Isn't that something we decide to wear from the Garmin rack, before we get on the bike?

 

[Andre Jute]

I don't get most of those jokes. (They are jokes, aren't they?)

[JWestland]

I wish! I'm a traditionalist, don't get me started on electronic shifting unless you are really good cyclist.

But its very interesting how people emulate the pros. Shows like cars its a bit about status / emotion too, not just cold practicalities.

Well it ain't touring...

[leftpoole]

I don't get most of those jokes. (They are jokes, aren't they?)

Well,,,,,,,,I particularly liked number 3 if thats any help?
John

[Andre Jute]

Well,,,,,,,,I particularly liked number 3 if thats any help?
John

Thanks. That one I got too, though I have to say that none of my friends would consider it amusing to unplug my fully automatic electronic bike, the original Cyber Nexus "Smover" Di2 --
http://coolmainpress.com/BICYCLINGsmover.html
-- of which the Dura-Ace is a grieviously crippled model. Well, it would probably be more accurate to say that the sort of schoolyard bully who thinks that sort of "joke" is funny isn't invited to ride with me.

[John Saxby]

There's a niche market for everything, I guess, including lame jokes. Too bad, sez I, to the unfortunate riders, if you persist in such behaviour, you can repent at leisure.

Reminds me of a comment I read a long time back--a really long time back--by a fine motoring journalist, who was testing a Citroën DS (yes, that one, whose designation DS was nice play on words, the French word for "goddess"): he remarked that not only did Citroën have solutions no-one else had ever thought of, but they had problems which no-one else had ever thought of.  Mind you, he was delivering a back-handed compliment, nothing like the bikeradar's mockery.

[Slammin Sammy]

Reminds me of Velominati - The Keepers of the Cog - "The Rules"

http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

I especially like no. 5. 

[Andre Jute]

Now I know why girls laugh when the peloton passes.

[Andre Jute]

...but, seriously, I wonder if the creators of the excruciatingly funny Velominati list have yet grasped that 99% of roadies think that's a serious code of conduct.

[Slammin Sammy]

...but, seriously, I wonder if the creators of the excruciatingly funny Velominati list have yet grasped that 99% of roadies think that's a serious code of conduct.

Andre, I have already been chipped at our local cycle cafe by a stranger, who derisively told me my "tyres aren't lined up properly with the valve stem" and I should "read the f@&kin' Rules"!  I told him the Rules were only there for people who were too dumb to think for themselves, and things got very testy. 

I think this individual had spent too many hours staring at the pavement in front of his wheels, and had probably been put up to it by his cruel roadie mates! 

[John Saxby]

Serious bizness, Sam -- sounds like the sorta guy who'd say that irony was the last refuge of scoundrels, though probably in cruder terms. I guess your reply would have to be, "Get a life, mate!"