Thorn Cycles Forum

Community => Muppets Threads! (And Anything Else) => Topic started by: Andre Jute on June 18, 2018, 11:35:53 pm

Title: Don't you just hate "progress"?
Post by: Andre Jute on June 18, 2018, 11:35:53 pm
A footbridge across the river in my town has been rebuilt. I used to bomb across the old narrow bridge, practicing my bike placement skills at the entering pillars which were just a fraction more than North Road handlebar width apart, measuring success negatively in unbroken bar-end mirrors. Now the thoughtless Council has widened the bridge and not only taken away my practice pillars, but made it more convenient for pedestrians, even with ‹™›fifl‡° widened parts as outlooks to attract more pedestrians; from where they can jump out into the path of cyclists. Ahhhrrrrggghhh!

POLITICALLY CORRECT DISCLAIMER: Of course, I have nothing against pedestrians, some of my best friends nodding acquaintances are pedestrians; County Cork is the world capital of jaywalking.
Title: Re: Don't you just hate "progress"?
Post by: energyman on June 19, 2018, 12:28:21 pm
" County Cork is the world capital of jaywalking."

Wanna bet ?
Dog one side, owner 50 feet away holding the lead.
Title: Re: Don't you just hate "progress"?
Post by: Andre Jute on June 19, 2018, 10:28:44 pm
Nope, I never bet against a sure thing. I always knew that disease would spread.
Title: Re: Don't you just hate "progress"?
Post by: Templogin on June 29, 2018, 08:30:28 pm
No, try The Street in Lerwick when a 6+ storey tour ship ejaculates it’s passengers.  The Street in places is about as wide as a car is long.  Tour ship passengers come fitted with legs that work as normal, but heads that are bolted on 90 degrees to the left or right.  They also seem to walk 6 abreast and are oblivious to anyone or anything around them.  The temptation to buy an air horn is often almost too much.
Title: Re: Don't you just hate "progress"?
Post by: Andre Jute on June 30, 2018, 05:17:34 pm
Only the British expect people -- even foreigners! -- to proceed in an orderly line and not to push and shove in queues.

Here's a fist-sized plunger-powered air horn that gives you the additional satisfaction of mashing down on the plungers as you would love to do on the head of the careless tourist in your way.
(https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB13GxvNVXXXXbmaXXXq6xXFXXXR.jpg)
For the horn attached to the tube, see
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Air-Horn-Bicycle-Air-Horn-Bicycle-Bell-Large-Bell-Air-Horn/1843372423.html  (https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Air-Horn-Bicycle-Air-Horn-Bicycle-Bell-Large-Bell-Air-Horn/1843372423.html)

That one definitely gets the Curmudgeon Cyclist's Stamp (HARD) of Approval.